Baby, Be Mine
by sweeet-as-honey
Summary: Cal has taken a paternity test at Ethan's insistence, but he knows it's pointless. He knows Matilda is his baby.
1. Chapter 1

_I'm sure you can guess what this is about! I just had to write a story after yesterday's episode. I think it's going to be two chapters, but knowing me, it could end up being three or four or thirty-four. I hope you enjoy it. (Those who are fans of Richard Winsor's ballets will understand the swan reference. Those who don't will just think I'm crazy so I'd better explain that he played the Swan in Swan Lake.)_

* * *

Cal rocked his daughter in his arms, a smile on his face. She looked back at him, her eyes fixed on him. She wouldn't be able to see him yet: he was just a blur, but she knew he was her daddy just as he knew she was his daughter.

She was so beautiful. Her small mouth was curved into a smile as she looked at Cal. Ethan insisted that it was just wind, but Cal knew it was a smile. A smile for him.

He barely glanced up when Ethan came home. He was too busy looking and staring and smiling and wondering how he could possibly have made something so perfect. It was something he thought about at least a hundred times a day, but the sight of her never failed to fill him with excitement and wonder and love. He believed the feeling would never fade. He imagined hearing her say Daddy for the first time; watching her take her first steps; taking her to school; waiting in the shadows with a cricket bat as she came home from her first date; leading her down the aisle when she'd found the one man who was special enough to deserve her.

No, his feelings would never change.

"I can't believe she's mine, Ethan," said Cal with a catch in his voice.

"Well, she might not be," said Ethan. "You haven't got the results of the paternity test yet."

Cal took his eyes from Matilda to give Ethan the briefest glare. "Of course she's mine! Look at her, Ethan. Look how she's looking at me. How can she not be mine?"

"She's looking at you because you've been looking after her and that's made her love you," said Ethan. "It's not because of some innate knowledge that she and nobody else has."

"No: it's because of innate knowledge we _both_ have!" said Cal. He moved the baby into an upright position and moved her gently up and down, making her gurgle happily. "She's mine, Ethan. I'm only taking this test to make you happy. She's my daughter and I don't need any test to prove it."

He lifted her further up in the air so his arms were at full stretch. He tilted his head back so he could look up at her, holding her at an angle so he could look into her face. His heart throbbed with love and he slowly lowered her into another hug, thinking how amazingly lucky he was and that every tear he'd shed over Taylor had been worth it. He'd spent the last six months or so wishing he'd never met her, but he didn't regret a thing now. (Except taking Ethan's money, of course.) It had all been leading up to the most important moment of his life: the miracle of Matilda.

Ethan sat beside Cal and ticked Matilda under the chin. For a moment, his face assumed the soppy look Cal was sure his own face wore almost constantly, but then it was gone and he looked worriedly at Cal. "Maybe you should give her to me now."

Cal laughed. "She's irresistible, isn't she? Even your heart's melting."

"No, it's not that," said Ethan. "I'm just worried about you."

"There's no need to worry about me, Ethan," said Cal shortly. "I'm taking to fatherhood like a swan to water."

An agonised expression suffused Ethan's face. "I know, Cal. And that's why I'm worried. You're getting too attached. If the paternity test says Matilda isn't your daughter…"

Cal was annoyed. "Of course it's going to say she's my daughter! Because she is. Look at how we've bonded together. And she looks like me, doesn't she? She's got my nose."

"Possibly," admitted Ethan unwillingly. "Your noses are quite similar. But there are only a limited number of shapes a nose can be."

"And she has blue eyes," said Cal, smiling in adoration as they looked towards Cal once more.

"Cal, a lot of babies are born with blue eyes," said Ethan. "That doesn't mean anything. _I_ was born with blue eyes."

"Then she takes after you and that proves she's mine!" said Cal.

Ethan shook his head helplessly. "Cal, please. Listen to me."

"Why should I?" said Cal. "As far as I can tell, you're just talking rubbish."

Ethan held up his hands. "Okay. Fine. I can see I'm not getting anywhere." Then he put his hand on Cal's arm. "But if it does all go wrong, you know I'll be here."

"What could possibly go wrong?" said Cal.

Ethan didn't answer that.

* * *

"What's this?" exclaimed Ethan from the kitchen.

"What's what?" said Cal, playing for time. He knew he was doing the right thing, but he wasn't expecting Ethan to understand. Cal bent his head and began to kiss the sleeping child in his arms. "I love you, Matilda. I love you." He kissed across her forehead and down one cheek. "Who's the most beautiful girl in the world, then?" he cooed between kisses. "I used to think it was your mummy, but it's not anymore." He kissed her chin. "The most beautiful girl in the world is… Matilda!"

Ethan came out of the kitchen. He looked tense. "What's the cake for?"

"It's for a celebration," said Cal.

Ethan's eyes narrowed. "To celebrate the fact Matilda is ours?"

"Well, don't you think that's worth a celebration?" said Cal.

"But you don't know if it's true!" Ethan burst out in frustration. "You haven't even got the results yet."

"They'll probably come tomorrow," said Cal. He started to kiss Matilda's other cheek and stopped to yawn. "Sorry, darling. I didn't get much very sleep last night. A very, very beautiful young lady kept me awake all night!" He kissed her nose. "But that's okay. Why would anyone want to sleep when they could be looking at you?"

Ethan's voice was little more than a whisper. "Cal, what if she isn't yours?"

Cal sighed. "Ethan, we've been through all this. She's mine." He looked at the sleeping baby. "Aren't you, Matilda? You're mine, aren't you? I'm your daddy!"

"I'll… I'll go and put the dinner on," said Ethan in a trembling voice.

Cal looked at him in surprise. "Ethan, are you okay?"

Ethan gave a quick smile. "Yes. Of course. Never better. I'll just go and…" He motioned towards the kitchen.

"No need," said Cal. "I've already done it." He heard the timer go off. "But you could go and get it out of the oven if you wanted to be useful."

"Useful," muttered Ethan as he went off towards the kitchen. "What use am I now?"

* * *

Cal looked down at the envelope in his hands. It was impossible to tell exactly what it was, yet he knew.

He didn't know why he was trembling. He knew Matilda was his daughter. They had a real bond that couldn't have developed between a man and someone else's child. He knew it was possible to learn to care for a baby who wasn't yours, but that took time. With Matilda, it had been instant.

A small cry from Matilda provided a welcome distraction. Cal put the envelope down on the table and went over to her cot. It looked like she was drifting off to sleep again, but Cal decided to stay and make sure. He pushed down the side of the cot and knelt beside it, one hand gently stroking her cheek.

"You're mine," he whispered. I know you're mine. You always will be mine." He took her fat little hand in his and felt it curl around his. "And I'm yours. I'm your daddy and I'm always going to be here. You're my little princess and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Nothing in the world." He felt a tear trickle down his cheek. "That letter doesn't matter. It's only going to tell us what we already know; what we knew from the start. I only did the stupid test for Uncle Ethan: because he can't see what's right in front of his nose. But when he gets home, I'm going to show him the letter and then we're going to eat that cake I bought and celebrate." He bent to kiss her nose, almost exactly like his own. "I'm afraid I can't let you have any cake, darling. But I'll hold you close to it so you can see it and smell it. I'll take pictures of you so when you're older, we can look back on the special moment together." Another tear fell. "And then we can all get on with the rest of our lives as a family. You, me, and Uncle Ethan."

* * *

Ethan arrived home to the sound of crying. This wasn't unusual: not now. He quite often arrived home from work to discover Cal wrestling with a nappy. The first time it had happened, Cal had given up and gone off in a sulk, leaving Ethan to do the work, but he was much more experienced now. Most of the time, he didn't even let Ethan help him.

But Cal wasn't changing a nappy. He was holding Matilda on her shoulder, hugging her so tightly, Ethan would have been worried about suffocation if she hadn't been displaying such a healthy set of lungs. Cal was murmuring shakily and incoherently to Matilda. His eyes were red and swollen.

Ethan moved to sit beside him, but there was something on the cushion beside Cal. An opened envelope with a letter folded on top of it. All Ethan could see was Cal's address and the hospital's address, but that was enough.

He looked at Cal. There was a lump in Ethan's own throat as he put his arm around his brother. "I'm sorry, Cal. I'm so sorry."

Cal lifted his head and looked at Ethan blankly.

"I saw the letter," said Ethan. "I didn't read it, but I guessed it was about the paternity test. Then I saw you'd been crying… I really am so sorry."

"I was crying with happiness, Ethan!" said Cal, and smiled as his eyes filled again. "I'm Matilda's daddy! Just like I told you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. Cal is completely in love with Matilda so he would be devastated if he wasn't the father.

 **20BlueRoses** , thank you for your review - you're very kind. I'm really glad you're enjoying it. I agree that if Cal wasn't the father, he probably would be in denial. I hope you enjoy this chapter - I'm afraid there is a similarity to your story.

 **X-Sammii-X** , I think I want Matilda to be Cal's baby too - it would be really interesting if he wasn't and it would make the storyline even more emotional, but it might be too emotional for me to cope with! Thank you for your review - I'm so happy you're enjoying it.

 **ETWentHome** , I meant to convey that Ethan feels useless because he's completely failed at preparing Cal for the possibility that Matilda might not be his - but your idea is really interesting and I like it! I love it when characters don't mean what they think I mean. Thank you for your review!

 **beckyboogle** , thank you for your review - I will be continuing the story, but I think it could be a bit longer than three chapters! I'm so happy you like it so much. I love Cal with a baby too! They were both adorable in Saturday's episode.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , that's an interesting idea - even though Taylor left, she probably does have some feeling for her daughter and might come back once she feels she's found somewhere safe she can hide out. Thank you for your review!

 **CBloom2** , I can't wait to find out either, but I can imagine it might take a while for Cal to get around to doing the paternity test. I loved what you said about Ethan relaxing and letting himself love the baby - I've included a bit of uncle-niece bonding! Thank you for your review.

 **LittleBritishPerson** , thank you for your review - I'm so glad you're enjoying it! It's fun writing about Cal and a baby. It would be nice for Cal to have a daughter - I don't think any of the other characters have children except Connie and Charlie, though I could be wrong!

* * *

Ethan hated himself for the doubt that filled him at Cal's words. "Can I see the letter?"

Cal glared at him. "Are you saying you don't believe me?"

"Of course I believe you," said Ethan.

Then Cal's face relaxed into a smile. "Yeah, go on: look if you want. I couldn't believe it either when I read it. How many times have I looked at it now, Matilda? Twenty?"

Ethan looked at his niece, who was still crying. "Does she need changing?"

"She didn't five minutes ago," said Cal. "She didn't seem to be hungry either. So I thought she might like a cuddle." He looked doubtfully at Ethan. "It's a bit early for teething, isn't it?"

"It isn't unknown for babies of Matilda's age to have teeth," said Ethan. "I believe approximately one baby in between 6000 and 9000 babies has neonatal teeth. There are also instances, about one in every 2-3000 births, of babies' being born with teeth. These are known as natal teeth and-"

"Just answer the question, Ethan," said Cal with his eyes closed. "Is it teething or isn't it?"

"Most babies don't get any teeth before the age of about three months old," said Ethan. "It's usually about six months - as you would know if you'd read the baby book I bought you."

"I've read most of it!" said Cal. "But having a gorgeous little princess to look after is time-consuming." He turned his attention back to his gorgeous little princess. "There, darling. It's okay. Daddy's here. That's better. Good girl. It's okay."

Ethan realised with relief that she was finally calming down. He left Matilda to her daddy and opened the letter.

He scanned it quickly, collapsing against the back of the sofa in relief when he saw the result.

"Cal, I'm so pleased for you," said Ethan. He was also very relieved. He wasn't sure how Cal would have coped if he hadn't been the father. He loved her so much. It would have broken his heart to lose her.

"Thanks," said Cal. "I knew what the result would be, but it felt good to see it in black and white."

"I'm sure it did," said Ethan. He frowned down at the letter. "Shame about the spelling mistake."

Cal looked confused. "What spelling mistake?"

"'Inconvenience' has two Es, not two As," said Ethan, tapping the offending word. "And there's really no excuse. Even phones have spellcheckers."

Cal stared at him, then he started to laugh. "Ethan. Only you would discover you've got a niece and start fussing about spelling."

Ethan realised he was being a bit ridiculous. "Sorry, Cal. Sorry, Matilda." He touched his niece lightly on the shoulder. She'd stopped screaming and Cal was holding her in the conventional baby style, her head supported by his left elbow. "So, you really are ours then, sweetheart." Ethan leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Welcome to the Hardy-Knight family. It can get a bit fraught here at times – mostly your daddy's fault – but I think you're going to like it here."

* * *

"Cal?" called Ethan. "Your phone's ringing!"

Cal was cuddling Matilda, staring into her big, blue eyes and telling her a story about Princess Matilda and a dragon. He was struggling a bit for inspiration and he was fairly sure he'd contradicted himself at least twice, but Matilda didn't know.

He was sure he would improve with practice.

"Cal!" Ethan appeared in the doorway, holding Cal's phone. "Here you are. I answered it, but they didn't want to tell me who they are. Shall I take Matilda?"

Cal hesitated. "Okay. Thanks." He handed his daughter to Ethan and went out of the room. "Hello? Yes, this is Caleb Knight."

* * *

Ethan shut the door of the flat behind him and nearly tripped over a suitcase. He tried to walk around it and discovered another suitcase in the way. "Caleb? What's going on?"

Cal came out of Ethan's bedroom with a bag. "We're taking our little girl on holiday!"

"What? Wait. Hold on." Ethan climbed over one of the suitcases, holding onto the wall for support. "Okay. Right. Run that by me again."

Cal was smiling. "We're taking Matilda on her first holiday!"

"Yes, that's what I thought you said," said Ethan. "It's a nice idea, Cal, but have you forgotten that I'm working every day this week and you're back on reduced shifts from next week?"

"No, I haven't forgotten," said Cal. "I spoke to Mrs Beauchamp and she agreed."

Ethan shook his head in disbelief. "Mrs Beauchamp agreed to letting us both have time off?"

"That's right!" said Cal happily. "Do you want to check your room to see if I've forgotten anything? I'll start loading up the car."

* * *

Ethan checked the bathroom door was locked and searched through his contacts for Connie's number. He knew that what he was doing was terrible. He should not be checking up on his brother (even though it did often need doing).

But the idea that Connie would agree to let them take an immediate holiday was very hard to believe.

"Dr Hardy. I thought you'd be on your way to the beach right now."

"Hello, Mrs Beauchamp," said Ethan nervously. "I just wanted to check that Cal had told you."

"Yes, he did tell me," said Connie. "I wasn't terribly pleased, but if your heads aren't right for working, I can't have you in my ED."

"Um, there's nothing wrong with my head," said Ethan. "I think."

Connie sounded slightly amused. "I beg to differ. You might think you've managed adequately, Dr Hardy, and I suppose you have, but you're clearly not at your own high standards. You're tired, distracted and yes, I do know all about your coming to work with baby sick in your hair."

"Oh." Ethan had thought only Robyn had seen that.

"So, as inconvenient as it is for us, a break sounded like the only sensible solution," said Connie. "I'd actually considered it myself before Dr Knight suggested it. So all that remains, Dr Hardy, is to wish you all a happy holiday and I'll see you in a fortnight."

* * *

Ethan sat on his single bed, surrounded by bags, and watched as Cal bounced gently up and down on the bed with a delighted Matilda. "You'll make her sick, Caleb. And I'm not cleaning it up for you."

"She likes it! said Cal reproachfully. He lifted Matilda up to face-height and held his forehead against hers. "Don't you, my little Tilly-willy-woos?"

"On second thoughts," said Ethan, "perhaps I'm the one who's going to throw up." Matilda was certainly cute, but there were limits.

"Ignore Uncle Ethan," said Cal in a soppy voice. "He's just cross because I made him do all the driving. But you wanted to be with your daddy, didn't you, darling?"

Even Ethan had to admit that Matilda's reply seemed to be in the affirmative.

Cal gave a delighted exclamation. "Ethan! She copied me! I raised my eyebrows and so did she! Did you see that, Ethan? She copied me!"

"You were never this happy when I used to copy you," said Ethan.

"But Matilda's way cuter than you," said Cal. "Because you're the cutest little thing in the world, aren't you?"

Cal's family time was interrupted by his phone. He picked it up, looked at the screen and rejected the call. Then he switched the phone off. "One of my exes," he said with a roll of his eyes, and threw the phone towards the foot of the bed.

Ethan tried to look sympathetic, but if he was completely honest, he would absolutely love it if Honey phoned him.

"So what does my little princess want to play now?" said Cal. He paused, listening. "That's a great idea!" He supported Matilda in one arm and put his other hand over her eyes. "Where's Matilda, where's Matilda, where's Matilda…" He removed his hand from her eyes and his face lit up with joy. "There she is!" He covered her eyes once more. "Where's Matilda, where's Matilda, where's Matilda… there she is! Where's Matilda, where's Matilda…"

This went on for some time with no sign of boredom from either participant.

Ethan sighed. "I'll do all the unpacking myself, shall I?"

"Oh, would you?" said Cal, sparing him the briefest glance. "That would be great, Ethan. Thanks."

* * *

It was a bit of a unique experience for Cal. Lying on a beach filled with attractive (though sadly not bikini-clad: it was a bit cold for that) women… but he only had eyes for one girl. The adorable bundle of cuteness in his arms.

Matilda was asleep at the moment. It might be because Cal had just fed her or simply because it was time for her latest nap, but he thought it was more likely to be because Ethan had decided to explain the composition of sand. Cal had nearly fallen asleep too. Just when he thought Ethan couldn't get any more boring…

Cal turned to aim an exasperated look at his brother. Ethan was sitting on a beach mat beside him, reading a book about the latest research into cerebral autosomal dominant arteriopathy with subcortical infarcts. The only reading material Cal had brought with him was the latest issue of _Four-Four-Two_ and his baby book.

Cal shivered in the cold wind but didn't put his coat on. He'd realised almost immediately that his plans to sunbathe topless were unrealistic (it was a shame Matilda hadn't got a passport or they could have gone somewhere much nicer), but he was determined not to put his coat on because he didn't want to prove Ethan right.

His phone vibrated. He checked the number and frowned. She really wasn't giving up and it was starting to be a problem. Cal switched his phone off and tried to focus on better things. Like the fact he was on holiday with his daughter.

He looked out to sea and an idea filled his mind. An irresistible idea. "I'm going to take Matilda for her first paddle."

Ethan lowered his book and stared incredulously at Cal. "Cal, it's practically November."

"I'm not going to let her go in the water," said Cal, as though Ethan had said something very stupid. "I'm just going to walk around and carry her."

Ethan shook his head. "You can't, Cal. What if you fall over? It's just not safe. You know how dangerous hyperthermia is for babies. I'm not letting you take that kind of risk with our baby."

"I'm not going to fall!" said Cal crossly. He looked out to see again. "Okay, how about we just stand at the edge and let the tide ripple over my feet? How does that sound?"

"Freezing!" said Ethan. "Caleb, I don't want to spend our holiday nursing you through pneumonia."

Cal sighed. He knew Ethan was right really.

Ethan was right far too often for his liking.


	3. Chapter 3

_There will probably be one more chapter of this - possibly two. Thank you for all your reviews!_

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your reviews! I think only Ethan would have noticed the spelling error! I'm so glad you're enjoying it. It would have been so sad if Matilda wasn't Cal's.

 **CBloom2** , I do everything for a reason! But perhaps not always for a good reason. You'll find out who's ringing Cal in Chapter 4. I'm glad I'm making you a bit suspicious! Thank you for your review.

 **LittleBritishPerson** , thank you for your review. It was probably a bit unrealistic for Connie to let them both go, but she does want all her doctors on top form!

 **X-Sammii-X** , thank you so much - that's really kind of you! There will be at least one more chapter of this story. I'm really happy you're enjoying it so far - I hope you like this chapter too.

 **Tato Potato** , so you're a bit suspicious too! I do sometimes get letters with spelling mistakes, but not often. Thank you for your review - I'm glad you're enjoying it!

 **20BlueRoses** , I love writing about Cal and Matilda. He is really sweet and he loves being a dad! You could be right about the phone call - it certainly was a very sudden departure. Thank you for your review!

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I think everyone wants Matilda to be Cal's daughter! It would be devastating for him (and us!) if she wasn't. I'm glad you like the brotherly moments!

* * *

Ethan was awoken by a crash and a shout from the bathroom. He ran to the bathroom door and tried to open it. "Cal, are you okay?"

"What?" The door opened. Cal was wearing a towel and looked wet but unhurt.

"Are you okay?" asked Ethan anxiously.

"No!" said Cal. "I dropped my phone in the bath. It's completely dead!"

Ethan was as sympathetic as he could be when he'd just been woken up for nothing. "Don't worry. We'll buy you a new phone tomorrow."

"I suppose that ex won't be able to keep calling now my phone's gone," said Cal. "Good thing I put Taylor's number in your phone."

Ethan decided not to tell Cal he'd deleted it. That was a conversation he didn't want to have at all, but particularly not at 4am.

He frowned. "Caleb, why were you having a bath at 4am?"

"Matilda was sick on me," said Cal.

"Ah. Fair enough." Then Ethan felt confused again. "I didn't hear her crying."

"I know. You were dead to the world, just like my phone!" said Cal. "But everything's okay now so how about we go back to bed."

* * *

Cal showed Ethan the website on his phone, holding Matilda in one arm. "There. What do you think?"

"The zoo?" said Ethan doubtfully.

Cal nodded. "For Matilda, obviously. Not for me. I'm much too old for the zoo." He smiled down in Matilda's face. "But you'd like to see all the lovely animals, wouldn't you, darling? All those clever monkeys and great big elephants and stripy tigers and splashy dolphins… splishy sploshy like in your bath!"

"Cal, she's not even a month old," said Ethan. "She'll be able to see twelve inches at most. The animals will be much too far away."

"But she'll get the atmosphere!" Cal wasn't giving up. "She loves it when we take her out for a walk and she can't see anything then."

Ethan sighed. "Okay, Caleb. If you want to go to the zoo, then we'll go to the zoo. Just don't try to pretend this is all for Matilda. I can see right through you."

* * *

As they travelled down in the lift, Cal held Matilda up to his face and made kissing noises. He couldn't believe how perfect she was, with her little smiles and gurgles and the way she looked at him as though he was someone wonderful instead of the worthless lump he knew he really was.

Cal's mood dipped. He didn't want to mess this up. He couldn't. But perhaps he already had.

"Cal?" said Ethan.

"Yeah?"

Ethan laughed. "The lift's stopped."

Cal realised the doors were open. Ethan was standing In the foyer, an amused look on his face. "Sorry," he muttered as he and Matilda joined him.

"No, I think it's sweet," said Ethan. He was feeling in his pocket. "Oh. Sorry, Cal. I think I left my phone in the room. Would you and Matilda mind waiting?"

"No need, little brother," said Cal quickly. "I saw you'd left it lying around so I put it in Matilda's bag."

"Thanks, Cal," said Ethan, and smiled at his brother. "Maybe I'm not always the responsible one after all!"

* * *

Matilda might not have been able to see very much, but she was still enjoying herself. Her eyes were fixed on the monkey cage as four very active monkeys swung from the branches to the bars of the cage. They climbed down to Matilda's level and chattered loudly.

"She can see there's something moving," said Cal, who'd finished reading the baby book last night and now considered himself an expert. "She might be able to see a bit of colour too. But she can hear the chattering, which makes her excited, and she can tell we're happy so she's happy too."

Ethan looked at Matilda's face again and smiled. "Have you got my phone? I want to take a picture of her."

"Just a sec." Cal had insisted on carrying Matilda and her belongings. He shifted Matilda into his right arm so he could give Ethan the bag.

Ethan took out the, but then he sighed. "Caleb."

"What?" said Cal, who was looking at Matilda. He didn't need to watch the monkeys. He could guess what they were doing from the expression on his daughter's face.

"This isn't my phone!" said Ethan. "It's your dead one."

"Is it? Sorry," said Cal. "We were in such a rush, I must have grabbed it without thinking. Shall we go and buy a new phone? Our tickets last all day and I think we can go in and out as much as we like."

Ethan looked a bit fed up. "Do you want to wait here with Matilda while I go and buy you a new phone then?"

"No, that doesn't seem fair when it's my fault," said Cal, and didn't miss the startled look on Ethan's face. "I'll go and buy the phone. Would you like to look after your niece or shall I take her with me?"

"I'd absolutely love to spend some quality time with my niece," said Ethan.

Cal felt slightly disappointed, but he was also glad to see Ethan showing some interest in the baby. There were times when Ethan held her and looked nearly as in love with her as Cal was, but there were other times when had a look on his face that could only be described as wary. "Then who am I to deprive you?" He kissed Matilda's forehead several times. "There, darling. You have a cuddle with Uncle Ethan. Daddy will be right back."

* * *

Ethan was exhausted. After the zoo, Cal had insisted on taking him and Matilda to a restaurant for dinner. After three courses (and stopping halfway to feed, burp and later change Matilda), Cal had decided the moonlight looked beautiful so they'd walked the 'no more than ten minutes' to the hotel, to discover it was just over a mile. Now they were back in their room, Ethan just wanted to sleep, but he thought he'd better find his phone first.

He tried his bedside table, which seemed the most obvious place, but it wasn't there. He opened the drawers beside his bed and then looked under both beds, but there was no sign of it.

"What are you looking for?" said Cal, who was cuddling Matilda.

"My phone," said Ethan. "I can't find it anywhere."

"Isn't Uncle Ethan a silly man to lose his phone? Maybe the cleaner took it."

"That doesn't seem very likely," said Ethan. He started to search again, but the more he looked, the more he wondered if Cal might be right. It really seemed to have vanished into thin air.

* * *

By nine o'clock, Ethan felt as though he couldn't stay awake for a moment longer. Cal had shadows under his eyes, but he seemed in very lively spirits as he played a game with Matilda which involved making all manner of strange noises. Ethan had been invited to join in but had politely declined.

He got changed into his pyjamas and started to snuggle down under the covers, only to remember something. "Cal, we forgot to go down to reception to report my phone going missing."

"We'll do it tomorrow," said Cal. Even without his glasses, Ethan could tell that Cal's eyes were still fixed on Matilda. "You never know, Nibbles. It might turn up. Don't you think so, darling? Don't things usually turn up?"

Ethan pushed his feet further under the covers. "Ouch."

Cal ignored him.

Ethan felt under the covers and laughed. "You were right."

"Was I?" Cal sounded surprised. "That's not like me."

Ethan waved the phone at him. "It was in my bed."

Cal shrugged. "The cleaner must have put it there by accident. Lucky we didn't go down to reception and start accusing them of theft."

"Very lucky," yawned Ethan, and went to sleep.

* * *

Ethan awoke to the sound of crying. He lay there for a moment, unsure if it was his turn or Cal's to go to Matilda, but as there was no sign of movement from Cal's bed, he decided it must be his.

Then he stopped and stared in surprise.

Matilda wasn't crying. She was fast asleep. But huddled up on the floor next to the cot was Cal.

"Cal, what's wrong?" Ethan shoved the bedclothes aside and hurried to his brother's side. He sat down beside him, putting his arm around his heaving shoulders. "Cal?"

Cal sobbed some more, then he looked up at Ethan. His face was blotchy and Ethan guessed he'd been crying for a while. "Ethan, I can't do it anymore."

Ethan had heard Cal say this before, about various things he didn't really have a choice about doing. He usually responded with annoyance and frustration and for a millisecond, he considered doing the same. But instead he pulled Cal closer to him. "I know, Cal. It's really difficult. All new parents feel like this sometimes and it must be especially difficult when you haven't got Matilda's mum to help."

Cal sniffled. "I miss her, Ethan."

"I know you do."

"But I've got Matilda," said Cal, as more tears slipped down his cheeks. "At least I've got a small part of Taylor. But it's not just that, Ethan. I don't just love her because she's part of Taylor. I love her because she's Matilda."

"And she's part of you too," Ethan reminded him, thinking this would comfort Cal, but he started crying even harder.

"Ethan, I don't know what I'm doing," he sobbed into Ethan's shoulder. "I don't know what I'm thinking."

"What you're doing is a wonderful job," said Ethan, as he stroked Cal's back. "I thought I'd end up doing everything myself, but you've been incredible. I take my hat off to you and eat my words. You're a great dad, Cal. Matilda is very lucky. And Mum would be so proud."

Cal cried even harder. "I'm not a great dad, Ethan. I'm not. One day you'll find that out."

"You're just exhausted," said Ethan. "And no wonder. Why don't you go back to bed? Lie in as late as you like. I'll do all the feeding and changing. I'm sure a good night's sleep will make you feel better."


	4. Chapter 4

_There will be one more chapter after this. I know I've been saying that since Chapter 1, but I've actually finished the story now so it definitely will have five chapters. Thank you again for all the reviews! I hope you like this chapter. I'm a bit worried about it, to be honest._

 **X-Sammii-X** , I agree that Cal is an amazing daddy. I had a feeling he would be! I hope we'll see lots more of it tomorrow evening. Thank you for your review and your kind words!

 **beckyboogle** , thank you for your review - I'm really happy you're enjoying it. I hope you'll like the new chapter.

 **CBloom2** , I don't think anyone would doubt Cal's brilliance at being a father - except for the poor, sleep-deprived man himself! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , yes, the pressure really is getting to him - babies are wonderful and amazing and special, but they do bring pressure. At least he has Ethan! Thank you for your review.

 **Tato Potato** , thank you for your review - I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Cal is lucky Ethan is there and so willing to help.

* * *

Ethan got up very slowly. He'd got up to see to Matilda four times since taking over from Cal and between nappies, bottles and nursery rhymes, he was exhausted.

Cal and Matilda were both asleep. Ethan considered having a shower, but he didn't want to wake them. Instead, he went to make himself a cup of tea.

He stopped, frowning.

The room should have been cleaned yesterday, which meant there should be two clean mugs sitting upside down beside the kettle. Instead, both mugs were the correct way up with spoons sitting in them.

Ethan couldn't remember having any tea last night, but he decided they must have done. There was no other explanation.

He drank about half his tea, but the question of the cups was still bothering him so he went into the bathroom. If the room had been cleaned, they would have been provided with clean towels, which would be folded and placed on the rack.

There was one towel on the rack, but it wasn't folded. The other was on the side of the bath and the small hand towel was hung on the back of the door.

The room hadn't been cleaned. Someone must have put up the sign asking for the room not to be cleaned - and it wasn't Ethan.

Ethan realised there was another clue too, if only he'd been sufficiently awake to notice it last night. The cleaner would have made their beds for them and removed anything they found in it. So his phone shouldn't have been pushed down under his bedclothes.

Of course, it shouldn't have been there anyway. Ethan couldn't imagine that he'd have put it there, even by accident.

Thinking about his phone reminded Ethan that he had forgotten to check his messages last night. He picked it up from his bedside table and had a look.

Ten missed calls. Guiltily, Ethan looked to see who they were from.

He stared in surprise. That couldn't be right. Why would she phone him ten times?

There was a text from her too, which was even stranger because Ethan had never known her to text him before.

 _Ethan, please phone me privately as soon as you receive this._

* * *

After a quick shower, Ethan was feeling slightly more awake but no less anxious. He was about to sneak downstairs to make his phone call while Cal was asleep, but at that moment, Matilda woke up. Her screams disturbed Cal, who stumbled out of bed, bleary eyed, and reached the cot about a second before Ethan did.

Cal's tired eyes lit up as he lifted Matilda in his arms. "What's wrong, darling? Oh, I can smell what's wrong! Aren't you a clever girl to poo in your nappy? Don't worry. Daddy will make you all nice and clean again."

Ethan took the mat out from under the cot and spread it out on the floor. As Cal unbuttoned Matilda's onesie, Ethan found a new nappy, a plastic bag for the old one, baby wipes, tissues, cream, cotton wool and soap. He also filled a bowl with warm water and spread out various outfits on the floor beside the mat, knowing Cal liked to choose his daughter's clothes each day and was inclined to get moody if Ethan presumed to choose for him.

"Thanks for letting me sleep last night, Ethan," said Cal, his eyes on Matilda as he undid her nappy. "It really helped. Sorry about… you know."

"It's fine," said Ethan with a forced smile – even though Cal wasn't looking at him and wouldn't know if he was smiling or not. "I hope you're feeling better now."

Cal laughed, but not at Ethan. "Who's the cutest little thing? Not you, Ethan. Matilda. No, I feel fine. A bit embarrassed, but fine."

"Babies make everyone emotional. Don't worry," said Ethan. He cleared his throat and tried to speak naturally. "I'm just going to buy a paper. Do you want anything?"

Cal tore his eyes away from Matilda to give Ethan an incredulous look. "Why would you want to buy a paper?"

"To read," said Ethan.

"Isn't Uncle Ethan old-fashioned?" cooed Cal. "He should just read it online like a normal person, shouldn't he?"

"It's not the same," said Ethan. It sound weak to his ears, even though it was true.

Cal laughed. "I wonder if papers will even exist by the time Matilda learns to read? Though you're clever, just like your Uncle Ethan, so you'll probably be reading before you come out of nappies, won't you, darling? Make sure it's a decent paper, Nibbles: I don't want Matilda seeing any of that Page 3 rubbish."

Ethan would have smiled if he hadn't been so worried. He'd never known Cal to complain about Page 3 before. Though he was slightly offended that Cal thought he'd even consider buying that sort of paper. Ethan much preferred _The Times_.

"Oh, would you mind leaving me your phone?" said Cal. "I want to put some of your contacts in my new one."

"It's by the kettle," said Ethan untruthfully, and quickly made his escape.

His heart was pounding as he hurried along the corridor. Every moment, he expected Cal to call him back to say the phone wasn't by the kettle, even though he knew this was unlikely. Cal was busy with Matilda and wouldn't want the phone for at least five minutes - or probably more like twenty. Once Matilda was changed, Cal would be far too busy playing with her to think about Ethan's phone.

But Ethan was still nervous. It just seemed like too much of a coincidence that his old phone would lose itself at the bottom of his bed on the day that Cal's phone ended up in the bath.

He took the lift down to reception and found himself a chair in the far corner. He found the number in his contacts and waited.

"Dr Hardy! Well, it took you long enough. I was beginning to think you were ignoring me. Either that or emigrating."

"I-I'm sorry," stammered Ethan. "I left my phone in the hotel room by accident yesterday and when I got home, I was too tired to check my messages. I did mean to do it, but I must have been sidetracked by Matilda. I'm sorry. I'll try to be more vigilant in future."

There was a pause, then Connie spoke again, her voice gentle. "Ethan, I'm very sorry to have to do this to you, especially over the phone. I know you and Cal genuinely love Matilda and I would never want to do this to any parent who loved their child because I know how it feels. But…" Her voice trailed sadly away.

"She's not Cal's baby, is she?" said Ethan.

"I'm sorry, Ethan," said Connie. "She's not."


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or favourite this story! I'm sorry it's not the ending most of you wanted._

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. You'll find out what happened with the letter in this chapter - I've tried to tie up all the loose ends, so I hope I didn't miss any!

 **X-Sammii-X** , I'm sorry for disappointing you. Not all my stories have happy endings, though most of them do. Maybe I'll write another story where Matilda is Cal's. Thank you for your review - I'm glad you still liked it.

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your reviews. 'Splishy sploshy' is something I say to my two so I'm glad you don't find it cringe-makingly awful! I do get some strange looks sometimes, as I imagine Cal does... or did. I'm also glad the story isn't predictable.

 **Tato Potato** , whether Cal knows or not, he is going to be devastated. He loves Matilda so much. I hope the Casualty writers won't be as cruel to them as I am! Thank you for your review.

 **LittleBritishPerson** , I thought I'd post the last chapter early - I hope you like it! I'm not sure how Cal is going to cope, but at least he has Ethan. Thank you for your review.

 **Gillian Kearney Fan** , Cal certainly won't be very happy with Ethan. He won't be happy about anything. I hope Matilda will feature because all her scenes with Cal and Ethan are so sweet! Thank you for your review.

 **CBloom2** , I'm sorry! I think everyone wanted her to be his! It's not an easy situation for Ethan at all. Let's just hope Casualty have a happier storyline planned. Thank you for your review.

* * *

Ethan disconnected the call. He knew he needed to go back to Cal before he became suspicious and got any ideas about doing a runner with Matilda, but he had to get himself together a bit first. He took off his glasses and wiped away the tears that had fallen during his conversation with Connie.

He'd been so stupid. The signs had been there, but he'd missed them. Or hadn't wanted to see.

The letter with the spelling error: the type of spelling error that was so characteristic of Cal. Cal's surprising eagerness (after a more typical show of resentment) to let Ethan see the letter.

Cal's decision to rush Ethan and Matilda away on holiday. Ethan didn't know what Cal would have done once the planned fortnight was up, but it wouldn't surprise him to learn that Cal hadn't thought that far ahead. Cal berated Ethan for not living in the real world, but sometimes Ethan wondered if Cal had any connection with reality at all.

The phone calls from Cal's 'ex' (actually from social services), which bothered Cal so much, he'd felt moved to drop his phone into the bath at 4am and then hide Ethan's phone so they didn't get any ideas about phoning his brother instead. Ethan wondered if Cal's phone would have ended up in the sea if he hadn't vetoed so firmly Cal's idea of taking Matilda paddling.

He also wondered what would have happened to his phone if he'd left it with Cal as requested this morning.

Ethan dropped his head into his hands. If only Cal had told him the truth. They could have stayed in Holby and tried to adopt Matilda. They might not have been successful, but at least they could have tried. Now, any hope of that was completely gone. Nobody would trust them after what they'd done.

* * *

Cal smiled at Matilda and kissed her nose. "Who's got the cutest little nose in the world? Just like Uncle Ethan's! He's got a little nose."

He heard the door open, then close. Cal waited for the sound of Ethan's footsteps coming towards them, but he heard nothing. Slowly, Cal turned towards him.

Ethan was leaning against the door, his eyes shut. There were tearstains on his cheeks and his phone was in his hand.

If Cal hadn't already been sitting on the floor, he would probably have collapsed onto it.

"You know, don't you?" he said quietly.

Ethan nodded. His whole face seemed to quiver, but he controlled the emotion and walked over to Cal and Matilda. He dropped to his knees. "You know we've got to take her back, don't you?"

Cal stared at him uncomprehendingly. "But I love her."

Ethan's eyes were full of tears. "I know you do, Cal. I'm so sorry."

Cal felt as though he might break apart. He stayed where he was for a moment, tears building in his own eyes. "How could you be so stupid, Ethan?" Anger rose inside him. "I suppose you've told them where we are as well! How could you do this to me; to Matilda?"

"I'm sorry," said Ethan in a choked voice, and a tear ran down his cheek.

Cal glared at him. "Obviously not sorry enough!" He held Matilda closer to him. "It's going to be okay, darling. We can do this. I'm not going to let them take you away from me!"

"Cal, we don't have a choice," said Ethan with a sniff.

"Of course we do!" shouted Cal. He kissed Matilda's forehead. "Sorry for shouting, darling. I didn't mean to frighten you. I'd never want to do that." He was scared of losing Matilda; furious with Ethan; still devastated by the letter he'd seen, destroyed and quickly replaced; but he knew he had to make a plan. "Right: we need to start packing. We have to get out of here. Matilda is our baby and no-one's going to take her away from us!"

In his arms, Matilda whimpered slightly and nuzzled his chest. Cal didn't know if she was trying to comfort him or seeking reassurance that he'd never let her go.

Ethan was shaking his head. "We can't do that, Cal. You know we can't do that. They'll find us."

"Not if we're careful, we won't!" said Cal roughly. "Not if you shut up and listen to me and don't do anything stupid. We'll get her a passport. Go to Spain or somewhere. They'll never find us there!"

Ethan shook his head. "I'm sorry, Cal. If we don't go back today, the police will come looking for us. It won't be difficult for them to find us. They would have come before, but Mrs Beauchamp asked them to give her twenty-four hours to persuade us." Ethan sat down beside his brother and niece. "You know this is the best way, Cal. The only way. It's like what you told Taylor: it's better to turn yourself in."

Cal screamed into his face: "Don't you compare me with that woman! She didn't even love Matilda. She couldn't have done or she never could have left her. But I love her and there's no way I'm leaving her! Not ever!"

Matilda began to cry.

"Oh, Matilda: I'm sorry," said Cal. He rocked her in his arms and kissed her. "I love you so much, darling. You're my precious little girl and I'm your daddy and no-one's going to take you away."

Ethan tried again. "Cal, if we go on the run, they will find us and they will take her away from us. If we take her back with us now, we can apply for adoption and we've got a chance. Only a very tiny chance after what we've done, but still a chance."

"No, we can't go back!" said Cal desperately. "We can't let them take her. Ethan, think of something! You've got to think of something. Some way we can get out of this. I can't lose her, Ethan! I can't let her lose me." His body shook with silent, painful sobs. "You can do something, can't you, Ethan? You can stop them from taking her?"

There were tears on Ethan's cheeks as he put his arms around Cal and Matilda. "I'm sorry, Cal. I wish I could do something. She belongs with us. She's part of us. But you know we have to take her back."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Dr Knight. But I need to take Matilda now."

The ladies from social services was very nice. They'd told Cal and Ethan that there was nothing to stop them from applying for adoption. The fact Matilda knew them and was happy with them would increase their chances, but so many people had been waiting for a baby for months or even years. They didn't say, though they were probably thinking it, that their attempt to hide Matilda from the authorities had destroyed any small chance they had.

Cal couldn't believe he'd been so stupid. As usual, he'd run from his problems; let his emotions control his brain. And now he was going to lose his daughter.

He didn't care what the paternity test said. He was her daddy and she would always be his little girl.

Cal was trembling as he hugged Matilda tightly. "I'm sorry, darling," he said between kisses. "It hasn't been much of a life for you. First you lose your mum and then you lose me. But you listen to me, Matilda. You are the sweetest, loveliest, most beautiful girl in the world and wherever you go, people will love you. You'll be safe and happy and soon you'll forget me. But I'll never, ever forget you. I love you and you'll always be in my heart. I'll think of you every day and every night. I'll always remember your birthday and do something special, even though you'll never know about it. It doesn't matter how many kids I have: you will always be my first child and you'll always have a special place in my heart. Now, go with these nice ladies and don't worry because I know they'll do their best for you and find you the kind of life and home you deserve. Because you deserve the best, Matilda. The very best. I'll always love you and I know you're going to do me proud, as you've done every day of your life. Goodbye my darling, beautiful Matilda. I love you."

He kissed Matilda one last time and handed he to one of the women. He staggered back towards the sofa, collapsing onto it and sobbing with abandon. He felt Ethan's hand on his shoulder as he said a few words, thanking the women for coming and apologising again for all the trouble they'd caused. "I'll see you out."

"No: you stay with your brother, Dr Hardy. He's going to need you. We really are so sorry. The system can be very cruel."

Ethan's good manners wouldn't allow the women to see themselves out, however, and Cal faintly heard his voice saying goodbye. He lurched to his feet and stumbled after them, swiping the tears from his face as he stood beside his brother, watching as Matilda was carried out of the flat – and out of their lives.

He listened to her gurgles and knew she was saying goodbye to her daddy. Her first daddy. The first person who'd loved her. "Goodbye!" he tried to call after her, but the word stuck in his throat. And then she was out of sight.

Ethan shut the door and turned to Cal, his eyes wet with tears. He put his arms tightly around his brother. The sounds that came from Cal's mouth weren't quite wails or sobs, more groans of agony from deep inside him. His legs could no longer support him and he sank to the floor, but Ethan sat down with him, not loosening his hold for a moment.

"She'll be okay, Cal," said Ethan brokenly. He held Cal tightly against his chest. "She'll be happy. She'll be successful. She'll be wonderful."

"I know she will," wept Cal, his arms around Ethan's waist. Even though he was on the floor, he could still feel himself falling. "How am I going to manage, Ethan? How am I going to do without her?"

"I don't know," said Ethan miserably, and for a moment, Cal thought his brother would start sobbing too, but when he spoke again, his voice was calmer. "I don't know, Cal. I know it hurts. I know it might never stop hurting. But one thing I can promise you is that you're not going through this on your own. I'm here."


End file.
